The creator of despair and darkness

After coming back from China a few days ago, I feel vastly weird. Very very weird. I feel very very detached from everything. Like I will always have a third eye view in my mind telling me this is meaningless or something. Maybe it's just me reading too much on absurdism and existentialism. Been reading a book named "Tokyo-jima" or "tokyo island" by Natsuo Kirino. It's in japanese for the original. I am reading in chinese "东京岛" translated version. Rather interesting,something like the "Lord of the flies". Wondering why so little people are online these days. I feel rather.....alienated with people ignoring me. 2 more weeks to start of school. Let's hope next year will be a lot better than this year.

The date's way cooler than yesterday. Wonder why so many people are interested in 11/11. Leaving for china in 2 day's time,so I thought I better make a post here before I leave. Not much things happened,with the exception of the finishing of O Levels and such. It's already coming to the end of 2010, and like so many things came and went. 4B just kinda dissolved after the last day of school. Not expecting much from a fragmented class. I didn't achieve much this year. In fact, I think I've underachieved. Been distracted by too much random stuffs. Couldn't concentrate well in almost everything. Been down to the point where I almost couldn't promote and stuff. Really kinda demoralising when this spreads and so much people wants to ask you what happened. Pushed up to superstardom levels,except it's the other way round. Not really in the mood to leave for china for immersion. Many are so excited about it though. Maybe their excitement will rub off me. Someone...

Ended the exams on monday. Not really feeling that ecstatic or what,since I think I didnt really do the exams well. So well...... Yesterday had a outing-cum-celebration for hueychyi at junweng's house. It didn't really work out at first since we had problems starting the fire and stuff,so was feeling pretty hungry. However it turned out to be quite a nice outing since we had sucessfully organised our first class outing. The few people such as xiaodan,zimin,kelly,hueychyi and liheng stayed back to chat a while though haha. Today we had the personality test analysis during assembly. Not that interesting though,although I was kinda surprised at the people with the S and N respectively character had such different personalities. I am a ENTP/ENFP myself. And oh yes during cca session yesterday I was told by zhanglaoshi that su laoshi is leaving soon. Pretty much expected this coz he already "hinted" to us like so long ago. So it's really true that he leaves when the 07...

This post expresses my personal views and serves no discriminations to any other persons. In the above diagram you would see a pyramid with the numbered columns,with the top numbered 4 and going downwards. Let me explain my concept today. Type 1. Representing those people,who are truly ignorant and follow the system of doing things without doubt. Type 2. Representing people,who knows something,who knows that they cannot follow the system wholeheartedly. However,because of percieved difficulty,fear,responsibility etc etc,they choose to remain silent and continue to follow systems, with doubts of course. Type 3. Representing people,who knows something,and fights for what they think is right. However in the process of doing so,destroys the system and sets up a new one. I will consider putting revolutionaries under here. Type 4. Representing people,who know something,and fights for what they is right. However, unlike the type 3 people, they do not change the system. They instead get around...

Lots of things had happened over the past month or so. Now currenly in AYLC week,so I have a bit more time to post here. Speaking of which,my previous post about the performance is technically not relevant now. The fact that it has been shifted "till further notice" just makes my heart wrench. Disappointing I would say. Got back chem paper yesterday. Should keep quiet about it. Anyway today afternoon went to eat lunch at pizza hut with pengfei,hancong,xiaodan and yangyi. After the meal we were actually talking about our childhood. Technically speaking I was not talking,they were the ones talking. About their interesting childhood,about how they enjoyed life,played games,dig for potatoes (LOL),got scolded and stuff. Of course some content are much more personal stuff so I shan't post them here. The chatting session kept me silent,not because I was dumbfounded or what,but I didnt have much to say or share. The realisation that my childhood was kinda monotonous and empty kep...

Junweng just asked why I didnt blog recently. Actually speakin of which I am just running out of ideas to blog here. Just kind of handed over to the year 3s last friday,although in practice I will be handing over slowly and not just "throw things" to the year 3s to take over. Bad experience last year when I just took over suddenly. We are running out of time now for the performance in October,and we have come up with a number of plan. 1. Come back for cca on every saturday. I think this should be fine with most people. 2.Increase timings for cca on friday(most probably not on tuesday too) until 9+ or 10. Which means we will have dinner break from 6pm to 7pm,after that we continue training on our own. Some even said we sleepover to next day. The second part is the real difficult part,coz I noe most parents will STRONGLY object.(Even my own parents). Some already siad they will pull out their child out of the cca. D: Cham cham liao....how? August got AYLC and National Day,which...

Last day of june,so I thought I should squeeze in a post. School has started,so the emo season starts too lol. So many ppl emo-ing . I am not an isolated case either. Should be watchin "Ramayan" already......

It's the last day of may already. Schools hols has already started.... In less than a week's time,I will be flyin to shanghai. Dunno wad to expect coz quite bored doing stuff... Had a real scary nightmare last night,but can't remember the details anymore..... Anyway Zero Online and Red Alert 2 are not bad games,been playin them today. So long.... to the next post....

Exams are really useless. End of story. Recently things have been real draggy. I have seriously no aim,no goals and don't know what the hell am I doing. My results are screwed as compared to my previous years. I don't know what and why people are fighting for. Maybe they are just like me. I have a chem test tommorrow and unlike others I am still spending my time on something which they call irrelavant. CCA is screwed too 'coz it's been a few months and I still can't solve the problems,maybe even worsening it. Maybe I made the wrong decision. Maybe they made the wrong decision. And recently a whole bunch of people are really emo. Emo over results,emo over something which I don't have a idea of. I really want to help them,help my old mates. Maybe I am just a bad influence on li heng that's why he became like that. And there is another old friend of mine which really changed over the past 2 months. Something real bad must have happened. Although she is in the p...

Pissed. Obviously over the fact that the school reduces our breaktime to 30 mins,and stil acts angelic. However,that is still not enough to make me post here. What makes me even more pissed, is the pure lack of fighting spirit within the school community. Whenever there is a stupid change, there are bound to be people who will always say"Accept it la,that's the way,it wouldn't change". And then soon after,the voices of those oppressed will die down somehow. So clever of students who claim to be in a elite school. Oh yea, of course things would not change if there are people who just accept it as they go. They have forgotten that our country,our nation is independent because our forefathers fought for our rights to self-govern. Oh yes, if they didn't do that and accepted how the British had controlled us for some hundred years,I bet you will be still living in your perfect slums. So darn clever to just accept change. Of course there will be some bastards who say...

Since independence,Singapore has always emphasized the policy of bilingualism. In Singapore, everyone needs to learn English and his/her own mother tongue. Campaigns such as the"Speak Good English Movement" and "华语 COOL!" has been running for many years to promote the learning of speaking good english and mother tongue. The Singapore Government discourages the use of so-called"Singlish ",or Singapore Vernacular English,as it believes in the need for Singaporeans to effectively communicate with other English speakers in the world. Being a small country, Singapore's economy relies very much upon trade links with other countries ,and therefore for economic considerations, the learning of Standard English is important for maintaining and communicating with other countries. However, I disagree that we should discourage or hinder the development of Singlish in Singapore. Firstly, Singlish encapsulates our cultural roots of being in a multi-racial society. Th...

Official end of Term One of Year Four. Perfect. And I thought I wouldn't survive the month. The one week break is ahead. Although filled with homework and stuff,but still it is a break from the hectic life. Term 1 has'nt been quite at nice as I expected. Filled with some kind of energy which I lost from since year 3,but the sad thing is,it went as fast as it came. Learnt about too much heartbreaking stuff. Watched and read The Matrix over and over again. Really terrifies me though. Things have been cracking lately. My spherical compass broke a few days ago, my watch glass cracked(many people realised this for some reason I dunno why) broke a week ago,and the side of my specs broke into half 2 weeks ago. Considering the functions of these objects,I feel a rather bad feeling weighing on myself. Or maybe I am just thinking too much. Voices,sentences are appearing out of nowhere in my head these days. I need something to release thoughts. That's why I am here. Juz realised my b...

It ended today. So many months of preparation and non-stop chionging for this moment,a 20 mins moment on the stage was everything. Today is the performance day(Fresh Takes) at the Esplanade Concourse Area.Waking up at 5.30 isnt a very nice thing(I wake up at 6am on sch days) but the day was indeed fun though. Learnt a lot of things from the other 2 schools and the dramabox ppl.Special thanks to Hai Bin from ARTivate and the teachers-in-charge, You all had a long day too.Overall a very fun experience performing in an open space area. Talkback sessions were interesting too. All it needs to have the day ruined is the fact that tmr has a physics test and I haven't laid a finger on it.And the fact that I almost had excruciating pain in the stomach again. I am essentially a pessimist. Always been like that. I always try to keep myself and others happy though. I need to finish Toliet before something happens.