The creator of despair and darkness

我的心有一个缺口 藏在没人知的角落 又是我痛得想狂吼 有时也有脆弱的时候 我的心有一个缺口 从不轻易向人透露 只有在月圆的时候 才让不羁的情绪出走 我以为没人能把我看透 却逃不过你锐利的眼眸 我不想让你看穿我的忧愁 我不能让你触动我的伤口 我真的想逃走 你的眼神却紧紧相扣 我的心在颤抖 你在步步追踪 我从黑夜逃到白昼 就在月圆的时候 你把我逼上高楼 投降在你设下的阴谋 逼我做个生死搏斗

I'm waiting for a train. A train that will take me far away. I know where I hope this train will take me, But I don't know for sure. But it doesn't matter. How can it not matter to me where the train will take me? Because I am the train. Immovable.

As I watched people going full steam ahead, I looked under my wheels. I started to consider my tracks. Broke them down. Scruntinised every inch of them. I changed them. Started to build new roads for myself. As I began, they left me Further and further Till they became a point. A mere point. I wondered to myself, Will I ever reach them again? I turned void inside out. Crushing.

Yesterday was the bicultural symposium 2011. Pretty boring symposium,with so little people this year. With that super warm blazer around too. I admit I wasn't concentrating most of the time, only wanted to meet her. Now the symposium is over, I'm feeling a bit down. Maybe yesterday was the final time I could see her ,since that should be the last symposium that we are attending. There's a minute possiblity that I can see her again through stuff like bicul talks or something. but well....not very possible. To you, and the people that might be reading this, I shall post some short lines in chinese. 想要对你说的千言万语 一次恐怕还不够 又怕拉拉杂杂说得太多 害你不知所措 最后只能忍着依依不舍 保持一贯的沉默 （edited from 给你的歌 by 周传雄） Hope to see you again.

Just borrowed this book from JRL. Should be quite interesting, but oh well it's in traditional chinese, so sg peeps like me may have some difficulty reading it. Shall read it slowly and carefully. Maybe I should try to buy it somewhere so I can read in my own free time (since libraries have deadlines...)Hope I can get some inspiration from this book for the upcoming performance in april. (P.S. Sorry if you can't see the image clearly since my blog's background is in black,too)

You are turning into a snake tomorrow. And as you start to devour people, With that mouth that has eaten others, You cry your love to me. And the same as today, I do wonder. Will I be able to say my love to you?

It's not like I have an identity to begin with. Just that I am losing myself so quickly,enough to drive me up the wall. I do not engage in actions anymore,merely feeling forced and separated from the rest of them. I tear my own mask everytime when I am alone. And force myself to mend it everyday. The cracks are already showing. How long can the mask last? Deep inside is a black hole. A gigantic one. Absorbing everything and anything. Soon the collapse upon its own core will happen.